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Doctors Rule Freddie Starr Out Of Going Back In The Australian Jungle

Posted 11/17/11 in News | 0 Comments | Write Comment

Who isn’t excited by the Freddie Starr scandal unfolding on I’m A Celeb? Is he in or is he out? Does an allergic reaction really count as a scandal? What difference will it make to any of our lives?

Few people. He’s out, for good. No, it probably doesn’t. Very little. Those are the answers to your questions. If you wanted to know more about why Freddie Starr has left the jungle for good, then I’m afraid all we can say is that DOCTORS DID IT. Doctors forced him out, probably because, as any Daily Mail reader will tell you, he had a quadruple heart bypass and no-one with a quadruple heart bypass should eat camel. First year medical students know that.

‘I was sorry to hear the news about what the doctors had said – that I was allergic to something, to play it safe and best for me not to go back in,’ Starr added, ‘ITV’s got a duty of care and it’s only right that the doctors advise them to keep me away from the jungle. It may not happen again but we’ll never know.

‘They checked me over and couldn’t find anything wrong with me, but told the TV people it’s a risk and that I could be allergic to something in there – and that duty of care that ITV has, has to be respected.’

Don’t worry though, sadists, he’s been replaced with Pat Sharpe and Sinitta, who’ll both hopefully be swimming through half-digested tripe and mouldy sandwiches before you can shake a cat’s whisker.

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